3 Myths About Dating at The Naval Academy

Hey everyone, I moved this article due to crazy high traffic… Here is the new link, thanks!!!

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18 thoughts on “3 Myths About Dating at The Naval Academy

    • Yeah, I can see how that was too “screw you I’m right” and not enough “we’re all in this together”. Thanks for the comment, I made some edits.

    • Also, Alex – I’m totally grateful that you read this 10 minutes after it was posted so I got the chance to edit out the ego stuff (or most of it) before it got to the masses. Much appreciated, and if that’s your real name it’s incredible.

  1. Saying that there is no reason to not date a female midshipmen besides being too scared to talk to girls is ridiculous. It takes a certain type of girl to go to the Academy, namely an overindependent chip-on-the-shoulder feminist who wishes to be self-sufficient and work alongside men. Not to say that women should not pursue independence or work towards a military career, but it is obviously a much harder to date personality than a girl who is looking for a man as a provider and makes him feel needed. It can’t be denied that girls at the Academy are incredibly hard to impress. For them, guys are completely dispensable at the Academy since they are so drastically outnumbered and can easily go from one guy to the next. This is why it is seldom worth pursuing a relationship with a female midshipmen.

    • Yup. From personal experience, they cheat. Mid girls dis-proportionally cheat compared to the civilian population simply because they have so many options.

      • Civilian girls cheat, you just do not hear about it because you do not run into the people with who they cheat. Civilians have much more freedom and therefore more options.

    • I disagree. As a feminist, I can tell you right now that the typical woman attending the Academy is not a feminist and tries to distant themselves from the ideology. Also, I do not think a midshipman should have to “feel needed” or “provide” considering half of them make less than $300 a month.

    • I get that you feel like they are hard to impress. I can see why you say that.

    • Woah. As a former mid, I’m not and never was overly independent, nor did I have a chip on my shoulder nor am/was a feminist. I’m independent, yes, but I think you’re pushing it and making females there sound like nobody ever wants to talk to them.
      With that said, after pursuing many guys, I found my current boyfriend. If you find love, you find love. He left soon after we started dating, and I did a few months later. It’s been long distance for 2 years now, but I’m glad he wasn’t like a lot of the guys there and he actually wanted a relationship. It’s not always the girls’ faults. Most of the guys there don’t want the strings attached, for whatever reason; waiting for a civilian, embarrassed to date a mid, only want you for certain reasons, or they might be playing you..
      Crazy, but some of the females are normal females who just want to serve. Pretty sure I wasn’t the only one.

  2. Great piece of work, Dave Booda. You truly are an intellectual that compliments the mentorship from USNA grads that every mid should receive.

  3. Lol this is a joke, The reason we say don’t date mid girls is cause other college girls dress like women for a living. They dont have outfit restrictions, and probably cant lift/weigh as much as me. The truth is that navy girls must be athletic and smart. Thats not what most college guys want. And the girls all go for navy guys cause have to be athletic and smart.

    Only reason Id date a mid girl is because then I have a girl to be with monday-friday when I cant go out or if im unsat..

    • So you are saying you like fat chicks with no brains. Hmm, sounds more like you couldn’t get a Mid girl even if you wanted to.

  4. Solid write-up. I took a civilian girl to ring dance and ended up dating her. As the relationship progressed, we had an awful time relating to each other. She went to a party school and took advantage of it; I went to the USNA. Our relationship shouldn’t have lasted romantically beyond ring dance, but it dragged on throughout most of firstie year. She was and is a great person, but we were too different. As I looked around and my friends, I noticed that most of them had already begun to date other midshipmen. Eventually I figured out that they must be on to something, and I shrugged off the notion that it wouldn’t be ok to date another mid. I looked around and quickly realized that my already-best-friend, a mid who understood me and the USNA perfectly, also happened to be female and eligible for dating. Many months later, we’re engaged. In many cases among my friends, we asked ourselves who could be a better match than someone who shares similar conviction and ambition, already evidenced by attending the USNA and doing well there? Looking back, the only reasons I can think of to not date another mid is if one or both of the individuals is too immature to handle a relationship, or doesn’t want one- which are the same dis-qualifiers I would hold for civilians. Thanks for another good USNA post, Dave. I wish I had some of this wisdom a few years ago.

  5. It was several years after graduation before I realized how difficult it is to find a girl in the “real world” with the intelligence, athleticism, work ethic, and general worldly wisdom that the average female midshipman has. It was all about the stigma, and it was SO stupid. Like 12 year olds and their boys clubs.

  6. I was a mid, and met another mid on I-day of plebe summer. I found out later he had declared on the drive to Annapolis “i would NEVER date a midshipman girl!” Turns out our parents sat next to each other at the induction ceremony and insisted we meet. He was completely uninterested (as to be expected on I-day) but as fate would have it we stood next to each other in the same squad for the duration of the summer. We are two years married now (and still says he would never date a midshipman girl :))

    I understand all of the perspectives expressed above, having lived with the assumptions and stereotypes for four years. Was it always fun dating at USNA? not really. I mean i love “going for a run” just like the next girl, but I would have given anything for a Tuesday evening off every so often to do something a little more traditional… however, then, and even now, (two years into being SWO’s together) it’s has been a blast to completely understand what the other is going through in a way i never would if I were a civilian. (How many of your civilian girlfriends have gotten to fly out on an SH-60 to their husband’s ship on deployment in the middle of the Gulf of Aden for a 20 minute visit… just because?!) That is one of many priceless memories we have gotten to share that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

    I am most grateful that my husband ignored his own self promise when he saw the person I was beyond the midshipman identity and asked me out. He gave “dark siding” a chance (and put up with quite a lot to continue dating me) and saw that just because a female is a soon to be officer it does not mean that she wants to be a dude (and all of the other lovely assumptions I need not mention). After the deployments and challenges of sea duty I hope he would now say that he values the independent and confident nature that so many female midshipmen possess. Its not for everyone, and thats okay. But for the rest of you hiding behind your closed minds… give it a chance :)

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